\\my world, my life//

1 Down, 2 To Go

2006-10-06T01:02:00.000+08:00

I finally took my first test after 5 years. It was a nervy moment for me when I reported to school that day. I broke my fast (ate just a bit), prayed Maghrib (to get blessings from Allah) and drove straight to school. Alhamdulilah, the test was not bad. Insya'allah, I will be able to pass. With 1 test down, I am now focusing on 2 major topics which are definitely very much harder. There are like sooo many things to remember. Oh my god! Even a computer will crash storing all those memories!

I had to start preparing for my next 2 papers which will be on 11th and 13th October. I had taken leave to prepare myself. Glad though that my TL understand my position and thanks to some of my colleagues who had to cancel their leave for me. For Chan, I will buy for you one Kopi-O Kao Cina Punya and for Maman boncit ku sayang, I tak panggil u boncit for 1 week k!

Anyway, my preparations for the 2 papers did not start well. I was down with fever and flu 2 days ago. My throat was so bad that I could not talk. I managed to control for the first day but simply couldn't yesterday and had to break my fast at 12 noon when I went to see the doctor as I can't bear the pain in my throat. The doctor wanted to give me MC for my morning shift but I rejected as I did not want to take MC. I then bought bubur (as that was the only thing that I can swallow) to fill my stomach before taking my medications, afterwhich I continued resting. At one point, I had to wake up to go to the toilet and when I spat out my phlegm, I noticed that it contained blood (I know it sounds gross but apa leh buat, tekak ku panas dah!). It must be very bad indeed. I continued taking my medication and went to sleep early.

I woke up this morning for work (even though I was not able to sleep well the previous night) feeling a bit better and decided to fast. It was all good until I spat out my phlegm again. Same thing, contained blood. Lucky thing for me, work was good today (can be managed lah considering only 2 people at the counter). It only started to get worse at 1845hrs (damn! it was near to breaking fast time). I had to lodge a report at that time and the report was only concluded at 1915hrs and even though there was a complt waiting, I had to eat a bit first.

I didn't know what to eat so I asked Dzul to buy for me Prata Cheese. I just swallowed my food as I didn't have any appetite to eat. When I got back to the counter, there were 2 outstanding complts to be served. I was handling a rather long case and only finished my report at 2030hrs. Afterwhich, I went up, got changed and went for de-briefing.

And now here I am, drinking bandung while blogging. I had never like bandung before and have to say that this is the first time that I have drink 2 glasses of bandung consecutively. I don't know why but maybe because it reminded me of my brother. He loved bandung so much and will always asked my mum to make bandung during break fast time in the past. Here's to you bro..Cheers!

Breakin' Down

2006-09-09T09:52:00.000+08:00

1850hrs: On the way to work with a contented morale.
1905hrs: Still contented as I arrived at work.
1935hrs: Read a message on my mobile. "Tmr duty report at 1930hrs."
1936hrs: Morale going down.
1938hrs: Blood pressure going up.
2010hrs: Spoke to someone about the deployment. Conversation goes this way:
Me: Eh ***, besok aku kene duty eh? Rabak sak, baru last 2nd off aku kene. Takkan ni pun kene lagi?
***: Ah, sekarang aku ngah aim kau, Hirman, Ellyza. Sape suruh korang tak buat CI Returns? Besok yang kene is kau, Hirman, Gary, Go Han Song, Ashrafe.
(Upon hearing that stupid, idiotic explanation, I totally went berserk!)
Me: Oh, selama ni yang aku buat CI Returns when the rest tak buat tu kau tak cakap pape? Sekarang ni aku baru tak buat sekali, kau nak buat macam gini.
(Another person, ***** came in at this point)
*****: You know about the deployment tomorrow right? Can ah?
Me: Can I say no? Definitely can't mah.
*****: This time you kena, next time you won't kena. Unless suay then whole team kena, I cannot do anything.
Me: Ah, at least you say like that not so bad lah.
***: He not happy.
*****: Not happy ah? Bo pian..
(End of conversation)

Am I wrong to be angry? 2 straight off days got burn! And of all people, why me? That was my question. I have been missing classes when there were short of manpower. In my class, I am the only one who have miss lessons the most. All because of manpower constraint. But ain't it funny? Why does other people able to make it to class? They are short of manpower too. But I was told to understand which I did.

And this is the moment where I need to complete my projects, read up on the lessons which I have missed and also exam's is in a month's time. For goodness sake, I need to study! Does anyone understand that? Hell no!

The whole day I was angry, frustrated and feel so helpless. I nearly broke down. I stayed in maintenance for a short period of time, just to be alone. That period, even though is short was a very painful one.

But I got to calm myself down and complete my work in maintenance. I didn't feel like eating after that and eventually ate my dinner at 0200hrs which Ellyza had bought for me at 2100hrs. I didn't want to talk much. I was not myself. Not that I was showing tantrums but I just felt so lost.

No doubt we have been told to prepare ourself for this tough time. And I swear to god that I have prepared myself, just that I didn't expect it to be so fast and the worst thing of all, on 2 consecutive off days. It is definitely not off days for me.

I had just got back from night shift and will be sleeping after this. I need to wake up at 1800hrs to prepare to work and will only be back at around 1100hrs tomorrow morning where I will have to sleep again. And the next day is already my morning shift.

So do I have time to spend with family, loved ones or my school stuffs? Again, no! How am I going to survive this tough period with all this coming onto me? I am wondering if I had make the right choice to take up the sponsorship and further my studies and get bonded till 2009. Will I have time to study as well as spend time with my loved ones?

To be honest, I am still feeling very down now and is slowly breakin' down. I don't know how long I can continue this. Problems with my school, my personal life, my work..It all adds to my pain. I just hope to get the strength from god and continue this life of mine.

Only time well tell...

My Number 1 Lady In Life

2006-09-08T16:08:00.000+08:00

Throughout my work, I have seen a lot of things. From minor disputes to serious offences, I have seen most of them all. There is one thing though which saddens me the most: Mothers cheated, beaten or being left alone to survive on their own.

Recently, I came across a really old lady whose children had left to stay in China, leaving her all alone here in Singapore. I spoke to her and even with the language barrier, I can feel that she is a really good person. She was cold and starving but still offered to share me her food. Seeing her condition, I was cursing and swearing at her children. How can they simply leave her all alone in this way? She is after all, their mother who had bear the pain of bringing them up and educating them. I've heard a lot of stories of children forgetting their parents once they are successful in life and in my personal view, I feel these people are the biggest losers in the world!

As for me, I am very grateful to god for gifting me with such a great mum. People say that you will never understand the sacrifices of a mum, and I fully agree with the fact. Mothers can really do wonders.

I used to raise my voice at my mum in the past, especially during my school days. I would raised my voice at the smallest issue whenever I do not get what I want from her. I did not understand why she would scold me for some things which I did.

As I grew older, I realised that I have been such an idiot in the past. When I think back about the things that she has sacrificed for me in the past, I would sometimes cry. I am not embarrased to be saying this, after all I really love her alot and would sacrifice my life for her.

We come from a family which did not earn much. We used to live in a 1-Room flat. I still remember the day when my mum did not eat anything, just for me and my siblings to eat. She would sacrificed her food and go hungry for her children. She would not go to the doctor when she was sick, just to save some money for our needs. She would wake up in the middle of the night even though she is tired whenever me or my siblings were not feeling well and will check if we are ok. I used to be giving her a lot of problems with my attitude of always not wanting to go to school and go to the doctor to take MC. I know I have not been a good son.

From the first day I started working, I vowed to give her the best that I could. It was hard at first as I had my needs to buy some things which I wanted but now, I just want to save as much as I can so that I can give her the best life I possibly could. Now that she is taking care of my niece and nephew, things are more tiring for her. She has to cook, do the laundry and take care of the kids. It is never an easy job.

With god's will, I hope that in the near future, I will be able to get her a helper and also get a massage chair for her. I want to take her to places which she has never been to and make her wish come true. She has always wanted to travel by plane and I hope to bring her to a vacation soon. She deserves the best in life after all the sacrifices which she had done.

I pray to god that I will be able to make her happy and lead an easy life. To me, she is the world's best mum and she is and will always be the number 1 lady in my life. I love you mum.

Going out of my mind soon

2006-08-18T23:34:00.000+08:00

People have always asked me. Can you cope with your studies, work, love life as well as family and at the same time not forgetting your friends? My answer to some is to try it out yourself and you will know the answer. It has not been easy and will never be. The demands from my studies and the fact that projects keep coming in, combine with the stress at work sometimes makes me wanna quit. Then again, when I think about my future, about how happy I want my ayang to be and how happy I want my mum to be, all the pain seems to be worthwhile.

I have neglected my friends as well as fiance at times. It's been a long time since I last spend time with my family as well, let alone have long hours on my own doing my favourite things. I jolly well know the fact that I have neglected you guys but what am I suppose to do? I can't give happiness to all at the same time. I had to meet deadlines for my group work and has been sleeping later than usual.

Sometimes I only have about 3 hrs of sleep and had to wake up for work. I had no choice but to neglect some of the dearest people in my life. I tried my very best to spend even the least possible time I can with them but I know it would not be enough. I've been having my problems as well and certain people says that they understand what I am going through perfectly. Well, I don't think so. These people have sacrificed a lot for me and I truly appreciate it and wish that I can repay all this. But circumstances does not allow me to do so now. Maybe, with god's will, I will be able to in the future. Even if its in 3 yrs time, if these people are patient enough, their sacrifices would be worthwhile. Just please don't say that I don't sacrifice enough cause you don't really know what I am going through.

Goodbye W810I

2006-07-12T16:57:00.000+08:00

I departed ways with my beloved Sony Ericsson W810I hanphone last night. I need the cash to buy a MP3 player and as I do not use the functions of the handphone much, I decided to let it go - at least for now..

I will be getting a new handphone which is cheap and also has basic functions by this weekend hopefully. Then once I have money to spend, most probably I will be getting the phone back. I simply love the design and simplicity of the phone. Don't worry phone, I will come back for you!!

Back To School

2006-07-04T16:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my 1st day back in school after a period of 5 years. I finally got a taste of how poly life is. As soon as I stepped into the Lecture Theatre and a brief introduction by the lecturer, we had a non-stop lecture for about 2 hrs. To be honest, I was 'fighting' with my eyes. At some point, I nearly doze off. Luckily for me, I managed to hang on till the end of the lecture. I was shocked to hear that we will be getting our 1st assignment as early as next week. Oh my god!

Anyway, I finally bought 2 new games. However, 1 of the games did not run well on my pc as the requirements needed are much higher than what my pc has. I didn't know that my pc is a little out-to-date. The game hangs at certain time and also runs very slowly on my pc. I guess I will have to get a faster processor and also a new graphic cards. But I will be waiting for about 6 months to a year before upgrading my pc. For now, I just want to get my hands on Creative Zen Vision : M.

A New Look

2006-06-26T07:56:00.000+08:00

I finally managed to finalise my new blogskin. This is my first 'malay' theme skin. The entries will however, be in English. Haha, I just suck in my Malay! I simply love this new skin..it has this artistic look about it. Also comes with an old school Malay song about life! Superb song guys..check it out!! Dunia.. oh... dunia..

No Time

2006-06-22T20:13:00.000+08:00

This past 2 weeks had been real tiring for me due to my attachment. At times, I didn't know if it was a good decision after all to accept this attachment. I miss my brothers and sister (only 1) at work. The attachment was supposed to end last night but sadly, it was extended till the end of the month. I am sincerely and really hoping that it won't be extended again. I am just so tired. I have not played my game for 2 weeks! Oh my god. How can I still survive, I do not know..

It also seems like I am not destined to watch the World Cup. 4 years ago, I was in Tracom for my training and this year, this attachment! Oh god, please let me watch the next World Cup without anything to hinder me.

I feel like going on a shopping spree now. There are so much things to buy! Clothings, games, gadgets and stationery stuff for school. How I wish I would find a $1000 note somewhere. I have so little budget but a whole lotsa things to buy now. Sob sob sob..

If only you knew...

2006-06-13T23:29:00.000+08:00

If only you knew...
How much I cared
How much I love you
How much you mean to me

What I would be without you

If only you knew...
How important you are to me
How you've changed me
How you've made me a better person

If only you knew...
How you mean the world to me
How you are everything I could ask for

If only you knew
That I love you baby
And I would be nothing without you

If only you knew...
If I could tell you
I love you I couldn't ask for a better girl

If only you knew

At times when you hurt me

I wouldn't take long to forgive and forget

Cause that's how much I love you...

Was It Good or Bad?

2006-06-09T17:59:00.000+08:00

It has been a month of surprises for me for far. At the beginning of the month, I received news that my application for Diploma in Management and Police Studies had been successful. I was shocked to be honest as I had thought that my application was unsuccessful. I had applied for the course in November last year and after months of no news, I had given up hope. However, when my TL called me up and told me the news, I didn't know what to feel. Some part of me was happy and grateful to god but on the other side of me, I did not know if I am able to cope with this new challenge that I am going to face.

The first person to know about the news was ayang and she supported me and acknowledged that it is gonna be tough for us to cope but then again, told me that the hard times will only be for a while. I then called up my mum to tell her about the news and when she heard the news, the first thing she said was 'Alhamdulilah'. The way she said it really gave me the adrenaline and courage not to think twice about this and to go for it. All this while, I knew that my mum wants at least 1 of her child to be able to get a diploma and when I did not get to a polytechnic after my 'O's, I could feel her disappointment. At least now, i'm given a chance to amend that and make my mum proud. I love her too much to ever see disappoinment in her. Also, for the sake of my future with my ayang, I am willing to go through this challenge. Of course, I do need her continued support and understanding because out time to meet will be very much limited (knowing my work and also that I am someone who needs to rest always). But then again, as I had always told ayang, it doesn't matter if we spend alot of time together or not, what she needs to know is how much I love her and I want to spend my life with her.

That was the first surprise news for me. Then, a few days later, while I was out with ayang, TL called me up and told me that she had selected me for an assignment. I had to work night everyday and will be given 2 off days per week. I was told that this will be ongoing for about 1 month. After some discussion with my ayang, I agreed to it.

Yesterday was my first day and I have to say that it was really tough. I really was feeling very exhausted and at the end of the day, I questioned about my decision. Should I have said no instead?

I really don't know how I am going to cope for another month of this. Knowing that the world cup starts today and my course is starting at the beginning of next month, is this really a good decision?

I would have to divide my time for family, ayang, work, preparation for school and at the same time, I am going to need time for my own needs. Do I have the strength to go through all this? I hope that god will give me all the strength that I am going to need.

Insya'allah..

I think this is true...

2006-05-17T14:05:00.000+08:00

Your true color is Blue!

You're blue - the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you - they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue - and patently you!

What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

A Family Gathering

2006-05-12T23:00:00.000+08:00

Finally, after such a long time, I got to meet my relatives from my dad's side. The last time I saw some of them was like during Hari Raya last year. For those I did not get to see during Hari Raya was because of my work schedule. So since today is my off day, I thought I would follow my parents to my aunt's side for a prayer session. Even though i'm not close to my dad's side, it was great to see them again. At least they won't think that I have forgotten them.

Anyway a few days before this, I had called up my close cousin, Alin asking him if he would be coming to my aunt's place. As usual, his answer was if you are going, then I definitely will.

We chatted for a while and I have to say, I was really surprise that he remembers something about me. As my other cousin, Din was playing with my handphone, browsing through my songs, Alin said 'I am pretty sure that you have your favourite song from May titled Sendiri in your phone now'. Well, that was a big shock to me. I really love the song ever since I was small and would always sing it everytime i'm with Alin. To think that he does not forget things about me made me happy of course. As I am still living in my own world which consisted alot of past memories, these little things mean alot to me. Thanks for remembering dude.

Alin and me were like brothers. We would meet every Sunday in the past to visit my great-grandmother at his house. Everytime we meet, we would do all sorts of things like playing soccer and also make paper aeroplanes and then will throw it into the streets from his flat.

One more thing which he did at a time when I was feeling down about my brother was a testimonial he wrote in my friendster. This was what he had written:

Shibly used to sleep over at my place.
Shibly used to wrestle with me.
Shibly used to play football with me.
Shibly used to challenge me in Subbuteo.
Shibly used to compete Monopoly with me.
Shibly used to collect stickers with me.
Shibly used to share stories with me.

Thanks dude, I appreciate it. It was nice to see you again and of course, I hope we can hang out more often now.

Yeah! I'm Wolverine!

2006-05-05T17:02:00.000+08:00

You scored as Wolverine. Wolverine is a loner, and a skilled fighter. He's got the hots for Jean Grey but a better fit for him would be Storm. He doesn't like to follow orders which pisses Cyclops off. He has terrible memories from the experimentation done on him at Weapon X. Even though he doesn't show it, he loves the X-Men. Powers: Fast healing and adamantium skeleton and claws.

Wolverine

80%

Emma Frost

65%

Jean Grey

65%

Storm

60%

Cyclops

60%

Iceman

55%

Colossus

50%

Nightcrawler

45%

Rogue

40%

Gambit

25%

Beast

20%

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Uhmm..I'm A Mermaid???

2006-05-05T16:02:00.000+08:00

You scored as Mermaid. Mermaid: Mermaids are also known as Sirens. These creatures were beautiful women who tricked sailors into becoming completely entranced by their haunting voices and found death soon after. Not all stories of Mermaids are about gentle loving sea people. They are mystical, magical, and extremely dangerous. They have a way about them that brings anyone they are around to seem enchanted. They are very mysterious creatures and to meet one... Would mean certain Death. Let the song of the Sea fill your soul, for you are a Mermaid.

Mermaid

67%

Angel

58%

Faerie

42%

Dragon

33%

WereWolf

17%

Demon

17%

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

1st Year

2006-05-01T13:29:00.000+08:00

Today is my 1st year engagement anniversary with my love. It has been a roller-coaster year for us both with lots of laughter but also pain. I am glad though that we have manage to overcome our recent obstacles and are starting to be happy again. Of course there were time when I had my doubts about certain things but that was only because I was confused. Now that I am back with a clear mind, I have sorted out my feelings and opened up more to my ayang.

People have always told me that engagement life is one of the toughest as this is the time where a lot of obstacles will come to you and also a lot of questions keep popping in your head whether you are making the right decisions or not. I guessed that all this are part and parcels of life. Every chapter in life will have its own ups and downs and this applies to everyone and we can't run away from it. We have to rise up to every challenges and the way we face each of those will determine our future.

11 months from today, we will start on a new chapter in our life. I hope and pray to god that this 11 months will bring lots of fun for us as we continue to prepare for marriage life and afterwhich an eternity of love and happiness will come our way as we begin our marriage life together.

To my ayang, I love you lots..

Happy Birthday

2006-04-26T22:26:00.000+08:00

April has always been an emotional month for me. It was on this month in 1977 that a special person in my life was born and it was on this month in 1991 that this person left me. Today marks my brother's 29th birthday. I'm sure if he is still alive, he would have his own family and children. Knowing my brother, i'm also pretty sure that he would have been a successful person in life.

Just want you to know brother, that even though you could not be here with me now, you will always be remembered and I will celebrate this day still because it was on this day that you embarked on journey in life and became my brother. I could not visit you today as planned due to rain and I promise, I will be visiting you soon.

Love you always..

Really Low...

2006-04-18T20:46:00.000+08:00

Had some problems at home yesterday morning and I snapped. Argued with someone and I was called 'kurang ajar' by that person. Again, I was to be blamed! Why can't people just acknowledged their mistakes and apologise? Why must they always put the blame on others and think that whatever they are doing is right? This has been a big problem in my life right now. I just can't control myself anymore. I just don't have patience anymore. I was asked to apologise to that person. I don't mind saying sorry but what's the point of just saying it if I don't mean it? By saying sorry, it will just make me look like a fool, acknowledging that I was to be blamed and let that person think that it's right? That shouldn't be the way. It will just make them big-headed. Is it so wrong for me to voice out my opinions just to show them what is right and what is wrong?

Another thing happened when I was on my way back from Sim Lim today. The bus was damn crowded. I was sitting at the upper deck. As my bus stop was approaching, I walked towards the steps. As I was approaching, I noticed that the lower deck was crowded too and there were 2 men standing at the steps. The first man that I need to walk pass was a Malay in his late 30s. He didn't have the brains to move aside to allow me to walk down. I had to make a big step to proceed on. The steps were narrow and I lost my balance. As I was regaining my balance, I accidentally elbowed the 2nd man who is a Chinese on his face. It was a hard one. I could tell that the man was fuming. It was an accident and to be honest it wasn't even my fault. They were stupid enough to be standing on the steps when there was clear instructions in the bus saying that no one should be standing on steps. I said sorry but the man's face says it all. He was still angry and looked at me straight into my eyes. I was not happy either and wanted to stare right back at him but I had to alight from the bus. I swear to god if that man had try to find fault with me, I would really retaliate. Why can't people just make good use of their fucking brains for goodness sake?

2 Points Dropped

2006-04-15T19:39:00.000+08:00

Stayed up late to see the match between Man U and Sunderland. A lot of people might be committing suicide today. I'm sure there is not much who would put their money on Sunderland managing a draw at Old Trafford. But as every football experts know, the ball is always round. Sunderland did the impossible by hanging on and stopped Man Utd from scoring hence forcing them to drop 2 valuable points. They are now 6 behind Chelsea, with Chelsea playing tonight against Bolton. I don't think Chelsea will slip up anymore. I'm just hoping that Man Utd would not drop anymore points and get as much points as they could and hanging on to 2nd spot. I'm pretty sure however that next season will be a very much better one for Man Utd.

I finally changed my layout. Looks much better than my older one I think. Did this on my own. I was actually trying on a harder but nicer layout but was not able to. I'm still an idiot on all these HTML codes and stuffs.

I'm just going to be on my PC from now till the time I sleep as I still need to put some finishing touch on the skit which my friends and I are doing for our NPC award show which is coming up in 2 weeks time.

Untitled

2006-04-13T14:21:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 8.50am today. Haziq had to ask me something about his spelling test. After he left for school, I could not get back to sleep and decided to accompany my mum for breakfast. She has been feeling down lately because one of her close friends just passed away 4 days ago. She kept thinking of her and at times, she would cry. How I pity her. I never want to see her cry as she doesn't deserve all that sorrow. As such, I told myself that I would spend more time with her in any possible way I can. After a nice breakfast, we hang around at the coffeeshop drinking our favourite 'Teh Kao' and waited till 1pm to fetch Haziq from school. When I got home, I surfed the net for a while, looking for some nice pictures as I am now working on a new blog skin. My current blog skin looks rather dull and I want to give it a new look. Now that I am done surfing, i'm gonna get some sleep and hope that I am able to wake up on time to watch American Idol results show at 5pm.

Sickly and Sucky

2006-04-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

It was a sucky day for me. I'm getting sick. When I woke up in the morning to go to work, I sneezed several times and felt weak. My running nose medicine has run out and I had to go to work. I got slightly better at work but in the afternoon, I got a headache, running nose and also sore throat. My throat started to itch. That was the worst combination I could ever get. Lucky for me, I had panadol extra in my bag and after taking 2 of those, I felt better. Things didn't get better though. Had some problems at work with the skit i'm doing for the upcoming award show. It's kinda stupid I feel. I mean, when me and my friends have been assigned for the job, why should someone else stepped in and tried to add his own ideas into it? Not agreeing to us was ok but with all due respect, we were given the responsibilities to do the job. Just because you are a of a higher rank, we should listen to you all the while. If you are so clever, why don't you just do it on your own rather than giving us the job?

On the other side of the story, lies a bitch who I call platypus. Here's someone who wants to stay in the team but could not work in a team. A selfish, lazy and proud person is who she is. I won't say much about her because just thinking about her makes my blood boil.

12th April 1991

2006-04-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

12th April 1991 was the day my world came crashing down. Hopes were dashed, dreams were broken. But one thing still remain. The love that I have for you and I still miss you as always. If you were here, I could imagine my life being more meaningful.

15 years has past and it has not been an easy journey for me. I still think about you alot and how I wish you could be here with me. There would be so much for us to share. We would have so much fun together.

Juz want you to know bro that no matter what happens, no matter where I am, you will remain in my heart for as long as I live. May you rest in peace..

Because of You by Kelly Clarkson

2006-04-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Just My Luck

2006-04-10T18:16:00.000+08:00

I actually had a very good day at work last night. It wasn't busy and it was quite relaxing to be honest, especially as I was doing with 2 senior man. The only problem as usual was the vehicle! When we were going back to base at around 0710hrs, somewhere along Eu Tong Sen, the van 'broke down'. My in-charge tried to start it time and time again but failed. It was then left for us to do our morning exercise. Me and 2 of my other colleagues had to push the van back. It definitely suck as it was such a long way to base. We took a total of 30 minutes for the journey which should only be about 3 minutes. At one time, we were in the middle of a busy junction when suddenly the van refused to move. We were of course kan-chong as we don't want to cause a jam. Luckily for us, we managed to move the van again. To make things worse, halfway through, my in-charge looked at the fuel metre and discovered that the tank was empty! I was totally angry but had to just keep quiet as he was a senior man. Oh my god! How can he not check and see that the metre was empty? The question however, will remain unanswered...

Stress = Low Morale

2006-03-31T22:49:00.000+08:00

Stress is never a good thing. I used to think that I can control stress and will never let it bother me. Seems that i'm wrong. Things happen at work, in my personal life and it has somehow make a mess out of me. Frequent headaches is a norm nowadays. Again, the same old thing comes back to me. Nothing is ever fair in this world and it SUCKS big time!

February...

2006-02-25T20:03:00.000+08:00

I can't believe this is my 1st posting of the month and it's already the 25th day. It's been a long time since I last posted because I don't log on to my PC that much nowadays. It has been a boring month for me. No more new games for me to play and that's why I did not log on to the PC. I just spent my time watching TV, switching channels from time to time.

During this time, I started to really enjoy 2 TV shows. They are 'Lost' and 'American Idol'. I was just glad that my favourite contestants were not voted off last night. I do think that the guys are better than the ladies this season. Chris Daughtry, Elliott Yamin and David Radford are my favourites for the guys and Kellie Pickler for the ladies. I do hope that they will go through to the final.

The defeat to Manchester United by Liverpool in the FA Cup certainly did not help me feel any better at all but I have to say though that Liverpool deserve the victory that day.

I had been busy lately, planning for my wedding and stuff. It was tiring but fun though. Well, I just do not know what to do anymore now, guess I just am going to laze around at home..

Sigh..

A Tough FA Cup 5th Round Draw

2006-01-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

It seemed like a ghost town at the time I was waiting for Shahril to pick me up for work. Normally, the coffeeshops would be crowded with people and those people who are either late for school or work will be rushing to catch the bus. But since it was the 2nd day of Chinese New Year and it is still a public holiday, the streets were empty and I was the only person there.

The first half of the day was good as we were not busy. 2nd half of the day though, I had to be at a static post. Once I reached the post at 2.30pm, it was a totally different day for me. It was very hot and humid and again there weren't much people around considering the offices are all close for the holiday. Time went by very slowly indeed but I managed to hang on. Luckily enough, the next team officer came quite early to take over duty.

I got home feeling extremely tired and while I was having dinner, I remembered that today is the 5th round draw for the FA Cup and decided to surf the net for a while to see who Man Utd will be facing. It was definitely bad news as Man Utd will be away to Liverpool. This is a really tough draw for Man Utd especially being away at Anfield.

I just hope that the team will do well in the game and will come out as the winners. As for now, I'm off to dreamland..

Magical Day at Magical Sentosa

2006-01-29T01:08:00.000+08:00

Today marks the 5th year of my relationship with my ayang. We decided to go to Sentosa to tryout some new activities there. I drove my bro-in-law's Matrix for the day.

First up, we need energy for all the fun we will be having later on, so we took our lunch first. Went to our usual Thosai shop at Wishart Rd. Since it's near to Sentosa, its an ideal place. Ayang had her normal paper thosai and I had my egg thosai. As usual, I requested for the fish curry for my thosai. The curry there is simply delicious. You guys should try it. So far, i've brought my colleagues and family there to eat and all of them came back for more.

After lunch, we went straight to Sentosa. Our first stop was Siloso beach. We wanted to go to Palawan beach but it was further from the carpark so since Siloso beach is just next to the carpark, its more convenient. We swimmed for about 30minutes or so before going for the Luge ride. Everyone going for the Luge ride will have to take the chairlift first which goes above 100 - 200m from the ground. I can't believed ayang managed to convince me to take this ride. Honestly speaking, I am afraid of heights and i'm not embarrased to say it cause there are a lot of guys out there who have height phobia. I have even seen a super duper muscular guy being afraid of heights. So I guessed its something normal. You can see how my face look like after the chairlift ride. The picture is in my gallery. Check it out..

After the ride, its time to go on the Luge ride. It is something like Go-Kart. I have never taken the Go Kart before so this is a new experience for me. It was really really fun. I will surely come for this again in the future. It would be better if the track was longer though. After that, we went to Sentosa 4D Magix.

This is something like Cinemania or watching an IMAX movie. The only difference is that it has new special effects like wind blowing directly to your face or water sprayed on you as what is happening in the movie. The show itself was short, approximately about 15 minutes long.

After the show, we had time to walk down the fountain garden and down to the Musical fountain for a show called 'Magical Sentosa'. The show itself is a S$4-million sound, light and laser extravaganza. You can see how beautiful the entire show is through my picture gallery. I managed to grab some shots. It was dark though, so only some pictures turned out nice.

It was the end of the show and the time is 10pm. Both ayang and me were tired and hungry. We decided to call it a day and headed to Tanjong Pagar Railway Station for dinner. We had Fried Mee with Cockles and Prawn Omelette. Both didn't finished the food as we were both too tired. It was a long journey back home and after sending ayang home, I had to pump petrol and afterwhich got home at around midnight.

It was a wonderful day and this is the best anniversary i've ever had with ayang and i'm sure she feels the same too. Thanks for the sweet and memorable day ayang and I hope you had lotsa fun today. Happy anniversary and I love you..

"I Do" by 98 Degrees

2006-01-27T17:45:00.000+08:00

All I am, all I'll be
Everything in this world
All that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes
Shining at me
When you smile I can feel
All my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensations
Seduce me 'cause I

I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

In my world before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
'Til that day
I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all my heart'
Til my dying day

I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

New Skin Dedicated To My One & Only

2006-01-27T17:41:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will be my 5th year anniversary with my queen. As such, I thought of having a new skin to celebrate this special day for us. I won't have the time to post the new skin tomorrow as I will be having plans to celebrate with my ayang and therefore decide to post the new skin today.

I took about 2-3 hours to finally come up with this image. I hope that my ayang will love it. This skin comes along with a song which says everything in my heart right now. Its from 98 Degrees titled 'I Do".

Sunday Was A Lovely Day

2006-01-24T16:28:00.000+08:00

It was a great day for me on Sunday. While buying breakfast, I met an old friend of mine, Nizar. He's more of a brother to me actually. He was my brother's friend since primary school and they were really close together. My brother, Nizar and I went out quite often together, watching soccer at the National Stadium during the time when Singapore was in the Malaysian League. We would always meet up at Bedok Interchange, before proceeding on to the stadium. Nizar would also come to my house to hang out with my brother. I was quite surprise to see that he still recognise me. The last time I saw him was 15yrs ago, when my brother past away. While I was having breakfast, I can't help but got reminded of past memories. It was just the best time of my life.

When I got back, I watched the Man Utd and Liverpool match. It was a hard fought match and I have to be honest, I did not think Man Utd would win the match. Looking at their midfield line-up, all 4 of them were playing out of position but at the end of the day, they did their job well. We got a last minute goal - courtesy of Ferdinand. Of course, Liverpool supporters, players and manager alike, all think that Man Utd were just lucky and said it was a lucky goal. WELL FOR ALL YOU LOSERS OUT THERE - THE GOAL WAS NEVER A LUCKY ONE. IT WAS A GREAT FREEKICK BY GIGGS AND FERDINAND ROSE UP TO THE OCCASSION BY DELIVERING A THUNDEROUS HEADER INTO THE GOAL. IT WAS A WELL WORKED FREEKICK.

Get a-life guys cause it was a deserving victory for us - like it or not..

In Her Shoes

2006-01-17T02:58:00.000+08:00

I watched the movie 'In Her Shoes' earlier today with ayang at Bugis. It was a sweet movie regarding 2 sisters who definitely are different from one another. I don't know why but whenever I watch a movie about family relations, somehow or rather I can't help but get emotional. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, this is the first English movie that actually made me sad and I almost had teary eyes at the end of the movie. I just find the movie sweet. Cameron Diaz was definitely hot in the movie. After the movie, we had dinner and I reached home around midnight. I tried to sleep after having supper but couldn't get to sleep. I wanted to play my game but don't have the mood to. Its been 4 days now since I last played my game. Normally, if I don't get to play my game for 2 days, I will feel restless but not now. Something weird is happening to me. Hmm..

An Updated Look

2006-01-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

It was not a good day for me. The main upset of the day has to be Man U's defeat to Man City. Man City played better but Steve Bennett once again proved why he is not fit to be an EPL referee. He gave too many wrong decisions and even sent off Ronaldo when Ronaldo himself should have gotten a freekick himself just seconds before being sent off. That's totally unfair! I'm not crying out loud for Man U's lost. I always give credit to the better team but the thoughts that we lost because of a total-jackass's stupid decision really make my blood boil. I couldn't sleep as i'm feeling rather down at the moment. I decided to create a new background image for my blog and is rather pleased with the result. This is definitely better than the one I did last night. This one only took me 5 minutes. I guess practice makes perfect..

Me Against The World - Simple Plan

2006-01-13T20:43:00.000+08:00

We're not gonna be just a part of their game
We're not gonna be just the victims
We're taking our dreams, and they tear them apart
Until everyone's the same

I've got no place to go
I've got nowhere to run
They love to watch me fall
They think they know it all

I'm a nightmare, a disaster
That's what they always said
I'm a lost cause, not a hero
But i'll make it on my own
I've gotta prove them wrong
Me against the world

It's me against the world
We won't let them change how we feel in our hearts
We're not gonna let them control us
We won't let them shove all the thoughts in our heads
And we'll never be like them

I've got no place to go
I've got nowhere to run
They love to watch me fall
They think they know it all

I'm a nightmare, a disaster
That's what they always said
I'm a lost cause, not a hero
But I'll make it on my ownI
've gotta prove them wrong
It's me against the world

Me against the world

Now I'm sick of this waiting
So come on and take your shot
You can spit all your insults
But nothing you can say is going to change us
You can sit there and judge me
Say what you want to
But we'll never let you win

I'm a nightmare, a disaster
That's what they always said
I'm a lost cause, not a hero
But I'll make it on my own
Me against the world

I'm a nightmare, a disaster
That's what they always said
I'm a lost cause, not a hero
But I'll make it on my own
I've gotta prove them wrong
They'll never bring us down
We'll never fall in line
I'll make it on my own

Me against the world

Finally..

2006-01-13T20:33:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since I want to design my own blog skins and finally today, I did it. Took me 5 hours though! But at the end of the day, i'm happy with the design. Even though its just a simple design, at least its my own theme and idea. I didn't know what theme to make, so being a die-hard Man Utd fan, I decided to go with the team. Now that i'm done with this, i'm gonna play my game. This is the first time that I have not played any game when i'm at home the whole day. Thanks to designing the blog skin.. Anyway, check out the song as well. I think its a nice song to go with the theme. I'll post the lyrics after this. For you die-hard Man Utd fans, just as the lyrics in the song goes, we will never die!

Erti Persahabatan

2006-01-11T16:52:00.000+08:00

A lovely nice song my friends..check it out

Erti Persahabatan

Saat gembira tertawa
Saat berduka kita sama-sama
Duduk bermuram durja

Kita saling memerlukan
Menghormati satu ikatan
Itulah... ertinya persahabatan

Ada kalanya terkasar bahasa
Tapi kita saling memaafinya
Pahit manis kecapi bersama
Bersatu hadapi segala... oohhh

Bersamalah teman kita hargai
Mahkota suci... oohhh
Bersamalah teman kita harungi
Istana erti persahabatan

Berkekalanlah hendaknya
Kemesraan diantara kita
Seandainya tak lagi bersama
Semat kenangan mengusik jiwa... oohhh

A Belated Goodbye

2006-01-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

I could not write about this on the day itself as my monitor of about 5 years finally 'died'. As a result, I have to wait until today to get a new monitor. Thanks to Fairus, I got a 19 inch LCD monitor for just $200/- and even though the monitor is 2nd hand, it still look as good as new. Well, knowing Fairus, he is someone who will take good care of his stuff pretty well which is why I do not have to worry about the monitor being dirty and etc. This is what I was going to write on 31/12/05.

It was a busy night for us on the road. It was expected since it was Friday night. Before work, we had some pizza thanks to Sudirman and Razaly. It was their last day in the team and therefore they had decided to treat the team. After briefing, Sudirman and Razaly had to give a speech - that's the team's culture whenever someone is leaving the team or had just join the team. Both tried to add some jokes in their speech but deep inside, I know how they felt. I was sad myself and nearly had tears coming from my eyes. Both of them have played significance part in my life over the past 2 or 3 years. Being my seniors, they impart their knowledge and help me out in times of need. I have to say, I owe a huge part of what I am now in the team thanks to both of them.

After work, all our kakis went to makan at our usual favourite prata shop. This was gonna be the last time Sudirman and Razaly is joining us for breakfast after work. The day had finally come. The moment itself was hard for me to take. I cracked some jokes to hide my true feelings. After breakfast, we headed towards PCC again. It was time to say goodbye. We stood outside the barrier at PCC to shake hands and to give wishes to one another. Inside me, I was crying but I controlled myself. In the moments of sadness, Sudirman even shake my hands twice. He must have forgotten that we had already done so. Well bro, I still owe you big time for the help in the past. Like i've said before, I will never forget that.

When all wishes have been voiced to one another, it was the time to say goodbye. Each go on his own direction and brothers, may we meet again on the same path in the future.

28th December - A Special Date For 3

2005-12-28T13:55:00.000+08:00

Today is a date to remember for me and 2 other important woman in my life. For me and my fiance, it marks our 4 years and 11 months anniversary. It has not been a smooth journey but the love that we have for each other are still very strong and I still hope it will remain that way in the future. I know what we have been going through since our engagement is a big test for us and I wish for us to beat the obstacles that we are going to face. Ayang, Happy Anniversary. It has been a wonderful yet challenging journey for me and I will do whatever it takes for us to be together and be happy.

Another person who celebrates this day is my sister - Iffah. She is the one who introduce my ayang to me. Of course, without her, me and Huda would not have got to know each other. Iffah, hoping that you will have a wonderful day today and Happy 23rd Birthday to you. May you have a great year ahead of you and may you find your 'Mr Right'.

Great Day At Work

2005-12-27T10:46:00.000+08:00

It was a perfect day to be doing FRC last night. With Dzul doing the other sector car, it added up to the fun.

However though, something happened at the time we were having supper where I got totally pissed off with someone. But being the quick-witted person that I am, I got back at the person almost instantly. I didn't stop that though. I 'attacked' that person again in the office during de-briefing. I know i'm bad but people, never try to make me mad or cross me cause I will definitely get back at ya.

By the way, I missed the Man Utd match last night due to work and will be missing 2-3 more of their next games as it's shown on days which I have to work. Morons! It's ok though cause Man Utd won the match. Alhamdulilah. But the stupid Chelsea still managed to get all 3 points. They nearly drew with Fulham but got a last minute goal I think. Damn Chelsea!

After work, we went to makan and as usual, I ate my Omelette without Onions. Yummy! Now that i'm back home, i'm gonna have my long awaited sleep. Damnz i'm tired.. *Yawn*

Changes In Life

2005-12-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

Life changes its beauty all the time
Sometimes it's a shade, sometimes life is sunlight
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow

One who loves you whole-heartedly
It is difficult meet that person
If there is someone like that somewhere
That person is more beautiful than all
Grab onto that person's hand
He or she may not be so gracious tomorrow
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow

Taking the shadow of your eyelashes, when someone comes near
You try to reason with your crazy heart
Your heart just goes on beating
But think, that which is here now
That story may not be here tomorrow

It was raining cats and dogs and here I am having to wake up for work. Oh boy, this does sucks. My whole family were fast sleeping and the weather was so nice. How I wished I could continue my sleep. Anyway, Shahril picked me up with his car today. I was in an okay mood on my way to work. Got to know my deployment and I was ready for a busy day as it's a holiday. However, at the end of the day, it was a good day after all. I wasn't that busy throughout the day.

Somewhere in between, I spent time with Razaly and Sudirman. Somehow or rather, I wasn't a happy man. Something happened while working which really got me into a bad mood and feeling down for the rest of the day. And for a fact that I know I wouldn't have these times with Razaly and Sudirman anymore certainly doesn't help me at all. I started to think about life and such. Why do we live in the first place when at the end of the day, we are going to die? Why do we love, when at the end of the day that person is going to leave?

I started to think about what I have went through and what I have done since I got into Primary 1. That was basically the time when I started my education. That was also the time where I make a lot of friends, all of whom had the same wishes as me. We planned and promised to be friends forever but when we got to secondary school, all promises were broken. Somewhere in between, when I was in Primary 3, my brother past away. My life started to change dramatically. Gone were the good time where I played soccer with my brother, gone were the time where we wrestled one another and gone were everything. Why did he has to leave if in the first place he was given life? Why do I have to love him so much, if at the end of the day, all is left are memories?

Again, when I got into secondary school, I made several new friends. All of which were very close to me. 2 of them namely Faizal and Fadzil were the closest. After secondary school, we promised to stick with one another even after each of us has our own career. Ever since we started working, each of us has our own responsibilites and commitment until we drifted apart.

Now that I have got a few good friends at work, some are going to leave. And deep in my heart, I know that what i've got left today will eventually go away and things will change again. Does this happen to everyone in life? Why give us tears in the end if in the first place, we had been given laughter? And why give us happiness when at the end of the day, sadness will conquer our life?

Khushiyan Aur Gham (Happiness and Sadness)

2005-12-23T15:29:00.000+08:00

This is the English translation for this song from 'Mann'. While reading the lyrics, enjoy the song guys. A very touching song.

Female:
It bears happiness and sadness
Still, it remains silent
No one has yet learned
What life is saying

It bears happiness and sadness
Still, it remains silent
No one has yet learned
What life is saying
Sometimes like your own, sometimes like a stranger
Sometimes like tears, sometimes like laughter
Sometimes like a river, sometimes like thirst is how it seems
It bears happiness and sadness
Still, it remains silent
No one has yet learned
What life is saying

It is the soft sound of silence
This life is God's blessing
No one has touched and seen it
It is the fragrance of experience, it is a scented wind

Male:
It bears happiness and sadness
Still, it remains silent
No one has yet learned
What life is saying

Speak with your heart, listen to your heart
Choose a soulmate from the heart
The world may say anything, let go of the world's thought
Adorning them on your eyelashes, foster sparkling dreams

Female:
It bears happiness and sadness
Still, it remains silent
No one has yet learned
What life is saying

Male:
Sometimes like your own, sometimes like a stranger

Female:
Sometimes like tears, sometimes like laughter

Male:
Sometimes like a river, sometimes like thirst

Female:
Is how it seems

Male:
It bears happiness and sadness

Female:
It bears happiness and sadness

Male:
Still, it remains silent

Female:
Still, it remains silent

Male:
No one has yet learned

Female:
No one has yet learned

Male:
What life

Female:
What life is saying

Everyone's Leaving

2005-12-23T15:06:00.000+08:00

It's true that all good things never last. After 3 years in the team and getting really great friends, it is time to say goodbye again. I got the news that 2 of my closest friends, Razaly and Sudirman will be leaving the team and going to another department. They had asked for the transfer a few months back and I knew that this was coming. However, I tried not to even think about it because it certainly is sad news for me. The time has come and we've got 1 last tour to work with.

I was sad when Fairus left the team and now that another 2 of my good friends are gonna leave, I don't know how I will react to this. I might not have shown to you guys how close I am to you guys but trust me, you guys play a huge part in my life. All the sweet memories and fun time that we have had together in the past will remain in my memory. And Sudirman, I will never forget what you have done for me in the past. I needed someone at that point of time and you were there for me. You know what I mean bro.

I guess it's now left with Shahril, Dzul and Hirman in the team for me to hang out with. But deep in my heart, I know that this will not last either. Some time, some day, we are all gonna have to go on our own ways and different passage in our career / life.

What I hope for is that you guys will not forget me. And Sudirman and Razaly, I hope we will still hang out in the future.

The D Day

2005-12-08T18:44:00.000+08:00

It was definitely D Day for Man Utd when they were knocked out in the group stage of the Champions League for the first time in 11 years. I woke up at 3.30am this morning to watch the match. Was surprised that Man Utd took an early lead after 6 minutes but they could not capitalised on the advantage as they went down 2-1 at the final whistle. Considering that Villareal won the other group match, Man Utd just needed a draw to qualify but the lads were not good enough. Even though i've been a Man Utd die-hard fan for the past 16 years, I admit that Benfica were the better team and deserved the win and also the qualification to the next round. It was a sad fact but its true. I was heartbroken with the lost and could not get back to sleep.

I managed to doze off for a while though and the short nap was worth it. In the short nap, I dreamt of my brother who had passed away 14 years ago. Well guys, he is the one person whom I loved the most and when he passed away, I did not go to school for 1 month. That was how bad his passing away affected me.

It was a weird dream. In it, he was very much alive and was spending time with me. The only thing was that he could not speak. When I woke up, I was smiling. It has been a long time since I dream about him and it came at a very good time. I was feeling sad about the lost and the dream just erased the sorrow.

Brother, you might be far far away from me but I know that in each of my movement and every little thing i'm doing, you are there with me. Memories of you will remain in my heart and soul till the day I die.

Gearing Up For A Big Match

2005-12-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

Was real tired from the duty last night all because of one very stupid, idiotic, brainless, no balls man. Got home and sleep till 7pm. Damn, I wasted another off day!

I woke up to log onto my MSN but shit, something was wrong with my internet connection. Must have been a virus I guessed. I restarted my PC and was relieved that it was ok now..

Anywayz, I will just be lazying around till 11pm before going to sleep. I'll be waking up at 3.30am though to watch the Benfica - Man Utd match. This is a match that we have to win to qualify for the next round and also if we don't qualify, we'll lose out on at least 15 million pounds. Considering the takeover from Malcolm Glazer and the fact that the club has a loan of at least 200 million pound, there is no way we can let that 15 million go..

Oh God, please let Man Utd win..They have always been part of my soul and when something goes wrong for them, it does affect me. That's how much I love the team guys..

All the best lads! Do the team proud and also win this game for George Best..

Monday Blues?

2005-12-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

The best thing about my job is the shift hours. There is definitely no such thing as Monday blues. Even though we do have to work on Monday morning once a month, it's not as bad as those on office hours. 4 Monday blues a month?!? Oh crap..

So it was a Monday morning for me and I was all gear up for a busy day at work. But hey! It wasn't that bad after all. Not as busy as I had expected. I'm just tired due to the hectic week that my team's having. I just can't wait to go to sleep. My eyes has been red and swollen since the past few days due to lack of sleep and boy do I look like a panda now!!

Not Again!!!

2005-12-02T17:57:00.000+08:00

Damn it! My eyes giving me problem again. Its just so itchy and swollen. And guys, I did not have seafood yesterday ok! :p

I've been having this eye problem ever since I was 5 and it has been a major reason why I was always on medical leave in school. Not that I didn't want to go to school but doctor's advice was and will always be don't be out in the sunlight or stay away from bright places.

Now here I am with swollen eyes again. Sad thing is that I have to leave for work in 40 minutes time. Guess it will be another irritating night for me..

My Heart, My Fiance, My Wife-To-Be

2005-11-30T23:47:00.000+08:00

Well guys, this is my beloved and beautiful fiance. We have been together for 4 years coming to 5 years and I have to say it has not an easy journey.

In love, there are bound to be conflicts and arguments are definitely unavoidable.

But thanks to this sweet lady, our relationship is still going on strong. It has not been easy for her, having to understand my job and also sacrifice alot of things since I started working.

But a great lover that she is, she understands everything that I asked of her. To my deareast ayang, I know it has not been an easy ride for us but I appreciate all that you have done for me for the past few days. It really means alot to me. I know that I might have hurt you in one way or another but please believe me when I say that my love for you just keep going stronger and stronger with every breathe that I take. I just see you as one person now and that is my wife.

I know it would not be easy either but I will do all I can to make you happy and also make this relationship works. I nearly lose you once and I don't ever want to lose you ever. I love you.

The Reason

2005-11-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found out a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

A Sharpshooter In The Making

2005-11-30T02:25:00.000+08:00

Finally, I managed to get a marksman for my shooting and what a relief it was to finally get my shooting over and done with. I was kinda nervous before the shoot and the stupid stomachache was not helping at all. Funny thing was me, Shahril and Razaly were all having stomachaches. Haha but what the heck. It's over now anyway.

I went to sleep right after that and woke up ard 7pm. I got to work on my blog design and took 6 hours to finish it. What an idiot I am! Well, it was not as easy as I had imagined. Not a great design but I think its ok for a start. I shall be working on it when I have the time.

Nothing much to say today except that I am really gonna have a nice sleep now. The weather is great, how I wish I am at the beach now. U see, I love to be at the beach at night when it is raining. U might think that it's a stupid thing to do but once a while its really fun. U guys should really try it someday. But of course dun forget to bring me along yar!

Ok gonna get to bed now. My dearest pillow is calling me. Hold on honey, i'm coming!!

A Great Win

2005-11-28T15:50:00.000+08:00

Woke up today at 3pm! Haha, it was a nice sleep guys. For those who have to work on a Monday morning with all the Monday Blues, u'd better get jealous. Anyway, it was another remarkable win for Man Utd against West Ham early this morning and i'm a very happy man indeed. I dunno what to do after this cause i've got about another 2 hrs before I have to get ready for work. I might just be planning on how to design my own blogskins. Have no idea how that works though. Hmph...

The Typical Me!

2005-11-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

I got up this morning feeling rather tired after all the fun I had from the Perjumpaan Hari Raya I went to last night. I didn't think I would enjoy such a thing but I went home all happy and cheerful. Then again, knowing that i'll be facing a long day at work, i'm so not looking forward for work. As soon as I knew what I would be doing for the day, I was all smiling again. I knew it was gonna be an easy day for me and yes it went well. I joked alot today, smiling and laughing. Again, I was back getting to my old typical, nonsensical self. I got real energetic after breakfast and started to 'entertain' my friends especially Dzul and Shahril. I had fun but I felt bad after one of the jokes, I accidentally made Dzul dropped his new handphone. He was like saying that the phone has scratches and is not functioning well after that. I really felt bad even though I knew he was joking. Well, sorry bro.

After work, me, Dzul, Shahril n Hirman went for dinner. I asked for something really spicy and boy do I regret that! I had tears in my eyes after having a hard time finishing the food..It was soo damn spicy but I enjoyed it anyway. I really had fun at dinner. We took a lot of photos together and I had lots and lots of fun. You guys are just great man! Even though we like to be sarcastic and love to 'colour' each other, I know that it was all jokes and stuffs and at the end of the day we are still dearest of friends.

Another wet night

2005-11-25T20:43:00.000+08:00

Got back from work and boy am I tired! I got wet in the rain during work due to some idiots! These idiots just doesn't know how to put their brains into good use. Sometimes I feel that animals are much better than them. Finally I got my long awaited meal at 7am. Just imagined that I have not eaten since 2pm yesterday and it was only until 15 hours later did I manage to eat again. I was dragging on and on to Sudirman, Razaly and Dzul about how hungry I was but sadly nothing could be done due to unforeseen circumstances.

Anyway, after all that shit, I got back to station a happy man! Had fun with my friends during work and got a really nice breakfast. So when Shahril and me finally can go home, things went wrong. One of the tyres on Shahril's bike got punctured and we had to go home in a cab. As soon, as I got home, I went straight to bed. Oh heaven, that was nice! The warmth of my mattress and pillows got me to sleep within seconds. Are they magical or what?

Got up at 6pm and got a hair cut. Hmm, I do look better now. No more centre parting guys! Haha, yeah check out my new hair style. Nothing special though but I do looooook good. Well, I know self praise is a national disgrace but hey since no one wants to praise me, heck i'm gonna do it!

Lazed around at home till its time again to go to work. Hope I can have fun again..